3 Lines / 3 Scenes

The Texas Hammer: 

Gay and Lesbian Divorce Lawyer

 SCENE I

(Open to Tim Hadler’s law firm. There is a cameraman and a director behind a camera, filming Tim. Tim begins to speak towards the camera facing him.)

TIM

“Need a divorce lawyer for your gay or lesbian spouse? I’m Tim Hadler, the Texas Hammer and I get ree-sults! As you know, the gays rarely play fair and they need to be hammered and hammered before they see the li- ”

DIRECTOR

“-Cut! Goddamn it! CUT!”

TIM

“Now, what in the heck was wrong with that take?”

Avenge Me

SCENE I

(Open to a bar. Scott, Frank, and Donna are sitting across from Mikey. Frank is speaking to Mikey.)

FRANK

“We need your "predicament", Mikey.”

MIKEY

"I'm sorry guys, I'm just really not following."

 DONNA

“Look, my girlfriend cheated on me and now I need you and your "predicament" to sleep with her. Got it?”

Sermon On The Mount Tour

                             SCENE I

(Open to a stage where Jesus of Nazareth is addressing the audience. As he is speaking, Peter and Ghostface Killah are bouncing around him as hype men. )

                              JESUS

“Blessed are the poor ”

                              PETER

"-the po'! Get 'em JC!"

                  GHOSTFACE KILLAH

“Word to God, son! Mo' money, mo' problems, motherfucker!”