Yesterday, I was on the [for the sake of professionalism,
I removed the name of the show] show and wow, what a God-awful experience that was. The host is a right-winged nut. Just a manipulative jerk who exploits people on the air and then immediately kisses their butt to save face. He was such a coward that he would turn everyone's mic off the second someone would disagree with him, then he'd put words in their mouth, and claim to win the one-sided conversation. He made Sheri Speede, a veterinarian and founder of the Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue center, sad by describing, in excruciating detail, the horrific ways people beat chimpanzees and after she left, he falsely claimed that she was angry and said chimpanzees taste like chicken. He got mad at me because I told him that he was being too harsh on an elderly guest and cut my mic for the majority of the show. He would lie about doing noble things like paying homeless people to be extras on his show. I know this because, after the extras were properly embarrassed, they would whisper to me, "Yeah, we're really not homeless." Then he would pretend things were going on in the studio, like two guests were fighting, and he staged all the phone calls so he could look quick witted and always in the right. He treated his staff poorly and would often yell at his producer between each take. He's everything I despise in people all clumsily packed into a freak wearing hypno-glasses. But I'll spare you guys of how I really feel. And thankfully, I really did learn a lot of lessons from this experience:
I removed the name of the show] show and wow, what a God-awful experience that was. The host is a right-winged nut. Just a manipulative jerk who exploits people on the air and then immediately kisses their butt to save face. He was such a coward that he would turn everyone's mic off the second someone would disagree with him, then he'd put words in their mouth, and claim to win the one-sided conversation. He made Sheri Speede, a veterinarian and founder of the Sanaga-Yong Chimpanzee Rescue center, sad by describing, in excruciating detail, the horrific ways people beat chimpanzees and after she left, he falsely claimed that she was angry and said chimpanzees taste like chicken. He got mad at me because I told him that he was being too harsh on an elderly guest and cut my mic for the majority of the show. He would lie about doing noble things like paying homeless people to be extras on his show. I know this because, after the extras were properly embarrassed, they would whisper to me, "Yeah, we're really not homeless." Then he would pretend things were going on in the studio, like two guests were fighting, and he staged all the phone calls so he could look quick witted and always in the right. He treated his staff poorly and would often yell at his producer between each take. He's everything I despise in people all clumsily packed into a freak wearing hypno-glasses. But I'll spare you guys of how I really feel. And thankfully, I really did learn a lot of lessons from this experience:
Saying "no" is the most empowering thing you can do.
When I first arrived at the studio, I was asked to put on a costume. For a second, I was convinced that I had to do it. Then I said, "Oh no, I'd rather not.." So the producer politely backed off. But what if I didn't say no? I could have put myself through the most humiliating experience in my life, and all because I didn't know I had a choice. So don't be afraid to say no, because it's always an option.
Stick to what you're comfortable with
In his book, The Secrets of Good Communication, Larry King writes that one of the secrets to successfully representing yourself (on radio or television) is to make sure you're comfortable with what you're doing. If not, then return the clown costume and leave before your parking meter gets too expensive.
Avoid negative thinking
You have to go in with the right attitude and I'm sure mine could have been better. Also, even though my interview was important to some of my friends and me, it could never make or break me. My two hours of nervously smiling in the background of a tv show won't change the course of civilization. Unless the world does, in fact, revolve around me. In that case we're all doomed!
Do your research
I didn't do enough research on the
* show. I asked a couple people about the show and listened to a couple segments, but I really had no idea what to expect. That was my fault, and probably one of the reasons I've taken this experience so poorly. So know what you're getting into or else, one Tuesday morning, you'll find yourself on tv, watching videos of a guy with a bubble wrap fetish, next to a nurse covered in fake blood, all before you had your morning coffee. And that's always a bummer.
* show. I asked a couple people about the show and listened to a couple segments, but I really had no idea what to expect. That was my fault, and probably one of the reasons I've taken this experience so poorly. So know what you're getting into or else, one Tuesday morning, you'll find yourself on tv, watching videos of a guy with a bubble wrap fetish, next to a nurse covered in fake blood, all before you had your morning coffee. And that's always a bummer.
Say "Yes" to every job?
If I've learned anything from Ryan Seacrest (and oh I have!), it's that you take every job you're given. One of the first comedians I worked with, Alex "Kool-Aid" Ansel, told me that you should take every gig you're given and if you're wrong for the show, that's the booker's fault. Which is absolutely true, sometimes you can be wrong for the show, but now I realized that a show can also be wrong for you. If it is wrong for you, then I think it's time to awkwardly say, "Oh... no, thank you,", moonwalk out the door, and bail to go get a cup of coffee (Cause coffee.)
Know what you're worth!
I was first told this by Larry Garza, of Comedia A Go-Go fame. He has a duo comedy act with one of his friends (I'm assuming their friends, but maybe they hate each other), Regan. When a producer tries to book them both as the headliner, but only only offers enough money to cover one of them, Larry will politely decline and offer to have only one of them do the show (or maybe offer the show to his Uncle, Jesus "Who Farted" Mendoza). He knows what his act is worth and whats worth his time. It's not greedy or selfish. He rightfully values his time. If you know what you're worth, then nobody can ever undervalue you or what you do for a living. I still don't know what I'm worth, but now I know that I'm worth more than -$42.00 in parking fees.
But I don't know anything. All of these lessons are ideas that I'm constantly evolving as I figure out what I'm doing with my life. If nothing else, I truly learned that nothing compares to being on stage for me. I don't mind going to open mics, because there is a lot of value in honing my craft. I'm motivated more than ever to get better at stand up.
And that's how John Magallanez, got his poop schedule back.
Peace
PS: I truly am thankful for the opportunity and I wish I could have done more with it. Thank you again to Elijah King and UDC entertainment for allowing me to be a part of something like this. Even if it didn't go so well, I appreciate the chance to try something new.
PS: I truly am thankful for the opportunity and I wish I could have done more with it. Thank you again to Elijah King and UDC entertainment for allowing me to be a part of something like this. Even if it didn't go so well, I appreciate the chance to try something new.
