Trust me, I need a day job.

I went to the gym everyday last week. 

So now I really need to start working out, 

cause apparently it's "weird" if you just go to Planet Fitness to take showers. 

Planet fitness, by the way, claims to be a "judgement free zone," 

but if I show up with only a towel and a loofah, the staff gets all Judge Judy about me being there.

Especially since I don't have a "membership."

Since I started doing comedy, I've been trying to figure out a good day job. Like most college graduates, I have no money. In fact, I have negative money or, you know, student loans. On top of that,  I consider myself an artist. Which is worse than having student loans, because suddenly I have too much integrity to sell out for a better paying job. If I was asked to give kids advice on how to be successful, it would be this: Work hard, be patient with yourself, and most importantly, sell out! Forget your dreams, kids! They're dead! What's not dead is a 9-5 job in human resources...But of course I would never say that, because I'm a dreamer, and my definition of success doesn't include a 401k (Sorry, Dad).

Don't get me wrong though, I'm not poor.  I'm just financially challenged (for example: I have stuff in my wallet, but at the same time, it doesn't really matter if I forget it at home). And I really am grateful for the job I have as a customer service rep. I don't love my job, because it basically pays me minimum wage, but it does provide me with enough money to invest in things I do love (like my girlfriend, my health, and spaghetti). The main reason having a minimum wage job is a bummer is that if you work there long enough, you begin to feel like you're only worth minimum wage. You feel replaceable and valueless (and nobody should feel like that besides the guy who invented pop-up ads).

Ideally, I want a day job that is meaningful to me, provides a flexible schedule for me to do comedy, and gives me as much money as possible (for as little work as possible). So I decided that I'm going to work to be a certified personal trainer. Which will be difficult because I don't look like a personal trainer. Personal trainers all have that same look that I don't have. They look healthy.