Who Am I?

Trust me… I’m a Doctor Comedian

Young up-and-coming comedian, John Magallanez, was born and raised in San Antonio. 

     In other words, I’m Mexican-American, infatuated with Big Red soda, and considers BEAN AND CHEESE TACOS worth capitalizing. Raised by a loving, absurd, and traditionally loud family, I was born to entertain. The only problem was: nobody ever told me this, so I grew up painfully shy and focused on my studies. Even though I had no true talents to speak of, it wouldn't be long until the entertainer side of me would begin to take stage. I attended Shepherd of the Hills Lutheran School from kindergarten to 8th grade, where I was known for my basketball playing and the debut of my rap group's parody album, “Pickle in My Soup.” Later, I graduated from O.W. Holmes High School, where I was nominated for, and lost, the coveted class title of “Best Smile,” and was instead awarded the lowly and more superficial title of “Best Personality.” It was in college, however, where I would finally find my voice as a solo entertainer. Unfortunately, it was the voice of an amazingly mediocre spoken word poet and, although ironically funny, it was not yet the voice of the rising comedian we’ve all grown to love today. I graduated with a degree in biology from Loyola University in New Orleans with the honest intentions of becoming a doctor. After graduation (and after the San Antonio Spurs somehow overlooked drafting me), I finally decided to pursue my crazy dream of comedy instead of medical school.

     I would obsessively go to comedy open-mic nights telling myself, “Next week, I’m going to take the stage!” In the end, my social anxiety always seemed to get the best of me. So next week never came. Until one day, I built up the courage to take the stage and turn the microphone on. People laughed, one lady (who was questionably not sober) even asked me for my autograph, and I haven’t looked back since. My supportive family is a big part of my comedy. They give me more than enough material to write about. My clean comedy routine, not too far from my personality, is often self-deprecating humor, mixed with ridiculous overconfidence, and a dash of observational wit. It’s hard to pinpoint what attracts me to stand-up comedy but I simply just love making people laugh.

     My second time doing stand-up was in a weekly comedy contest at the Bonham Exchange, hosted by the great Joan Rivieras. After losing miserably to Alex “Kool-Aid” Ansel, I was introduced to Nick “The Mailman” Charles, who booked me for my first paid show (despite my lack of a stage name.) I can’t give Nick enough thanks for giving me the opportunity to do what I love and follow a crazy dream. I would love to make comedy my primary profession, but for now I enjoy being a student of comedy. I’m new, and as all new people, I understand that I have dues to pay and time to give. My next show will be 8pm, December 14 at Backstage LIVE for the RawArtists Showcase. Normally, I’m doing open mic sets 5 nights a week at various venues. I’m trying to get as much stage time as possible and write as much as my attention span allows. When I’m at home I practice my jokes in a clunky old karaoke machine that I set up in my room. As I’m writing this, I’m practicing my jokes out loud, and a while ago I heard my mom yell out, “Hey! What’s all that noise in there? It sounds like someone’s chasing a DYING DREAM, with a microphone!” And she’s right, because I do have a microphone on.